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It's a dream I've been nurturing since I started dutifully following Ian Wright's exploits on Lonely Planet. We are now in the year 2008, and that was back in 1998--10 years and still an unrequited love. You wouldn't think I've been harboring such notions just by looking at my grande Starbucks tea frappe and perfectly applied eyeliner.
My friend Eric, whose now in Cambodia, laments the absence of the ubiquitous chain in his new home city, yet he makes me salivate by announcing that massage places litter the streets like 7-11s. I want to visit him in Cambodia, Pats in Singapore, dear Ryan in South Korea, Rony, Gerwin and Charlie in Singapore, life partner Louie, sexy Ems and Lifebunny in Hong Kong, Jon in Spain, Janne in Finland, Donna in the UK, Graeme in Scotland, Dwayne in Indiana, Yas in Dubai, maybe Emi in Romania, Essi wherever she is at the moment...
During the bad in-betweeners of my life, I swung from blaming family and circumstances, to blaming myself--both in highly passionate ways that boggle the mind.
Still, there is a shining nugget I managed to pick up--strength. Life's hell-bent ways gave me tree-trunk-like sea legs, and I want to keep using them.
Now that life is being quite kind and cushy to me, I can't help but look for the imbalance that only a churning ocean can provide. I long for the comfort that I've always found in constant change.
Instead of expecting the unexpected, I don't expect at all. Deal me what cards you will, and with those, I'll play like a loony. I'll probably even wager (and lose) everything, yet find redemption in smiling like a drunken sailor.
In life, I can strategize, plan and mind-f**k like the best of them. But I'd rather I didn't. I really would much prefer to be thrown somewhere and I'll be happy to learn how I'll deal with it. I can't imagine a purer heaven. Give me something and some things never to be defined. Give me the raucous, the sweaty and the revolting. Challenge me in ways that will make me rant and spit and give birth to strange, unwieldy energies.
I have always believed that by traveling, my sea legs will find happiness.
I want to talk to different and differing people, be forced to eat strange food, work for my breakfast...
You know what they say about potential? I can do it, therefore I must do it.
Damn the comfort zone and its accompanying delusions. I am dying to have a taste of the biggest possible perspective by constantly being in motion.
I want to see The Frames live in Ireland, Dave Matthews Band in Virginia and join the Burning Man community at least once. There are also fairy conventions in various part of this weird, wonderful world. Yes, I want to be there, too.
Sometimes, I think I'm too old to start backpacking, Couchsurfing and going on trips that plenty of those half my age have probably already enjoyed. But I reckon I can always lie and say i'm only 27.
Until when shall I keep to where the Starbucks stores are aplenty?
i remember telling pats before about this idea: leaving a journal somewhere and just let people write in it. thanks to the internet, someone is making this idea work so much more beautifully:
John Carney is a sneaky bastard. With a super modest budget of only $130,000 and two non-actors in the lead roles, he was able to release a wee movie that made big waves in the indie festival circuits. If it weren't for Diablo Cody's very PR-able persona and the built-in American/mainstream audience of Juno, Carney's Once would have been 2007's authentic little movie that could.
The film begins unassumingly enough. We meet Guy (Glen Hansard) out in the Dublin streets, earning a little extra during the day by singing covers. In the evenings, he wails his way through original compositions that get the attention of Girl (Marketa Irglova), a Czech immigrant living with her mom and daughter in Ireland.
In the course of a week, they discover exactly why they were meant to meet each other at that particular time of their lives--to make music that becomes more beautiful in every line they don't sing. And in between composing new songs, going on impromptu trips and enjoying the well-concealed frenzy brought on by limited togetherness, Guy and Girl find what everyone craves--real connection.
Carney's budget did not leave much room for sweeping shots and grand vistas, but the few scenes he picked to be most dramatic work to full effect. Expect to be overwhelmed with silently growing emotions by the final scene.
Hansard and Irglova, both real-life musicians (and now real-life lovers), make the whole film look like a lovely intrusion into a blossoming romance that never quite get there due to prying eyes. It's the expectation that Carney weaves so well, so much that you'll hate the well of intense feelings Once will undoubtedly leave in you.
Once won the World Dramatic Audience Award at Sundance and continues to enjoy a 97% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Unsurprisingly, as the music alone is incredible. Hansard's intense, soaring vocals and open-hearted compositions work perfectly with Irglova's plaintive style. The theme song Falling Slowly's tentative opening notes make you sit up, and by the time the song (and the scene) sweeps you up, you'll have fallen for the potential of their love and remember when you were hopeful, too. Critics were unanimous in declaring Once as the musical film of this generation.
The theme is sure to touch many. Indeed, who doesn't have a short, profound affair that changed one's life? The trailer harps on the painful question: How often do you find the right person?
And like this treasure of a movie, such things only happen Once.
The only thing left for me to say is Thank You to everyone involved in this project, and to my sister K for showing it to me. I have never loved a movie as much as I loved this one.
On its very scruffy sleeve, Once wears a heart that's immense.
With Pi and Aldwin :) non-highlight: had to buy Very Expensive shorts as my trusty blue ones finally gave up on me. Wala namang swim shorts na okay yung fit sa kin dun sa ukay-ukay sa plaza. deng.
LeRoi Moore, saxophonist of my one and only Dave Matthews Band, has diedunexpectedly of complications from an ATV accident that happened last June.
i have never seen them live. and now he's dead. i am so seriously sad. i want to cry. i don't want to believe this has happened. sorry, drama. but it's LeRoi. DMB won't be the same. i don't know what to say or do or think. i am grieving over a musician who helped form a big part of who i am. #41, still my favorite song in the world now, won't be the same, ever.
it's on my list of life dreams to see them live...
i will go in this way, and find my own way out... why won't you run into the rain and play? let the tears splash all over you.
rest in peace, o dreadlocked one. thank you. Thank You. THANK YOU. for making music that matters and saves lives.
* my mom's birthday tomorrow :) we're cooking things and such. i hope the titos and the titas come. that's all she wants.
* three quarters into Breaking Dawn is the wrong thing to read right now
* been thinking a lot about loyalty lately (oh heeey, how's that for alliteration? ;-) ). i realize i'm not the best person to rail against the disloyal, but some people really will disregard things for the sake of convenience. i wonder if anyone has ever DIED of inconvenience. the cancer in this society is more than just its politics. a great factor is laziness--the short cut, the band-aid, anything that will make it easier on you even if it's not right. kamote.
* what do you do when life presents so many shiny new things, but so very few changes?
* planning a surfing trip to good ol' LU next weekend (aug. 23 to 25). join na! i ranted some days ago re: not really liking my brain at the moment, like it doesn't know how to just be settled anymore. my thinking is getting increasingly frantic. i need to get away to clear my head. that particular beach always does it. i can't wait for the chance to just be able to concentrate on one beautiful objective :)
* bellydance has started again. diyosa jill is teaching us a tribal choreography now. wheee! sama na kayo dali! teacher by 40, teacher by 40, teacher by 40...
the truth is, i'm not particularly very good at it, but this thing that my friends introduced me to makes me feel like nothing else.
i started surfing in 2005, before la union was as popular and crowded a destination as it is now, but still many years after my friends first got into it. i would probably be a third or even fourth generation model if surfers were marketed like ipods.
generally, i'm pretty resilient but many, many, many things have really started beating on my armor. sometimes, i really do feel there's nothing left for me on this planet, except for trying to take care of my internal organs so someone can make use of them when i can't anymore. and in between seriously considering if i have mononucleosis or, well, that thing that will put you in the 7th circle of dante's hell, is the shining thought of paddling out towards the horizon.
everytime i catch a wave, life feels completely peaceful. i don't have a care in the world but for the speed of the water that's carrying me, the wind on my face, and the shore that's coming up to greet me. then i paddle back out, raise my upper body with every wave i meet, and crash down on the water with the board as my protector. there's nothing more exhilarating than maneuvering myself in a current that's always changing and deserves the utmost respect. the perfect marriage of man and mother earth.
and when the city, with all its unnecessary trappings and misplaced priorities, staggers me with a sense of profound futility, nothing jolts me awake quite like the thought of hopping on that bus and getting ready to greet the water. and i move on with a renewed sense of joy, looking forward to my next surfing trip.
the mighty, mighty water and what it can do to and with you, that's something to worry about, not the rules that the modern world dictates. money, sex, beauty, social image, i don't really care. what would hefty savings and "name" mean if i went through this life an empty shell--cooing over my next gadget or fashion purchase, or worrying too much about money that i've forgotten the richer gift of loving?
and when the story feels like it has gone on too long, has become too tiring, or is going around in circles, an ending seems the best solution. or i can just throw the book out.
and once more, i retain my tenuous hold on the tether to life for just one more ride, or even just one more wipeout. the water--it keeps moving me along :)
those who really know me might be surprised to find out that this song is getting ready to dislodge Dave Matthews' Band's #41 as my favorite song of all-time. yun lang. some early morning fangirling while i await a meeting :)
the last of my kuyas to get married. the ceremony and the reception was much like kuya ricky, no fuss, no muss. kung kaya ni kuya ricky humabol, kaya ko din ;-) pero mag-a-adventures muna 'ko :)
Fitzcarraldo and personal myths... Please do watch this, or at least listen. I find this new song of the moment, which pays tribute to a movie about a man with a crazy dream, very poignant. It swells and silences you, especially at 4:11 onwards...
Even the good stars can fall from grace and falter, like the lapdogs that shroud the mystery. And her last words were "I'll see you down in history." It's the long, lonely way that we can go."
y'all know i have a list, one i may have already posted here, but i don't really remember if i did. anyhoo, one sign that i really REALLY like a band is when i add a song of theirs to this list :) which reminds me... that list needs a massive updating.
while i await ron perlman's red-horned goodness with bated breath, i just saw a movie that is now entrenched as "my best movie for 2008" (and maybe til the next year, and the next, and the next...). thank you, k, for coercing me to see it
i'm still a little sniffly and i've yet to compose my thoughts, but i hope to be able to write a review that will do it justice
Once is a movie that tells what happens when random guy meets responsible girl... through achingly earnest music. there's a very, Very personal connection i made with the film when it ended. yep, sometimes, once is enough, but it's also often all you'll get... still, it can be cosmic and beautiful, leaving an incredible impression on your heart.
yeah, he looks like him, too... "take this sinking boat and point it home. we've still got time..."
"panty kung panty," said my fellow recitalist. ehm...okay! pardon the stomach, but it's a happy stomach *ting* ;-) i really do look like a rabbit. and when in makeup, a japanese rabbit!
Finally! Thanks, K, for taking such nice shots :) To fellow recitalists, lemme know if you want hi-res versions and i'll email them to you :) Don't you miss rehearsals, already? Gah.
swollen feet? no problem! bellydancing helps you forget the pain :) despite what happened to me friday, i decided to push through with the recital, else i thought i'd feel even worse. it was bearable and nobody would expect me to be at my best. got a lot of love that day :) these girls are the coolest :) i have a newfound love for this and plan to be able to teach by the time i am 40 years old. (photos courtesy of fabi, kristine, alda and www.toji.multiply.com--official event photog). i'll upload mine soon :)
