the scenic route is long and winding

(Warning: Do not read if you are in the mood to enjoy this movie in all its mushiness)

It's been one of the most puzzling things I've had to contend with in my adult life, to the point that it's become an ironic sort of pleasure: When it comes to movies, why do men squeal with utmost glee over the most improbable action stunts, schemes and scenes, yet cower when faced with often unoriginal yet actually possible romantic gestures?

i'm torn between describing P.S. I Love You as this year's The Notebook, or go on my intellectual high horse and zap it for its profound predictability. but since i don't know what to do, i'll just listen to the positive happy part that says "i just really like this."

Hilary Swank (Holly) and Gerard Butler (Gerry, orinal no?) are a young couple with all the usual issues and yet a strong and sincere bond. From a post-night-out fight and make-up sex, we are treated to a funeral scene: Gerry, so impossibly hunky and vibrant, has died of a brain tumor, leaving bartender Daniel (Harry Connick Jr.) to ogle his grieving widow.

But with dedication that only the Irish men of fantasies can muster, Gerry arranged for letters to come to Holly in the hopes of helping her get on with the rest of her life. Sensible ones may say "creepy", but i say "damn that's sweet". And we see that the movie is more about the nature of love than of its more glamorous cousin, romance. It's about thinking about someone else, helping others, respecting yourself, being honest, and being open to finding joy anywhere. Sure Gerry sent her off to the always majestic Ireland (where she meets William, another Irishman, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan), but even then it's about making connections with people--dead or alive--to remind one of living fully, again.

i'm disagreeing with most critics here when i say that swank did a great job. she's utterly human, and i could see the fight she's trying to put up--the whole i'm-okay-but-not-really face. They say she acted like she was hitting that punching bag in Million Dollar Baby. Who wouldn't put on a somewhat stony facade when grieving for the love of one's life taken too early? one especially poignant scene for me was hilary swank singing like a crazy woman, looking and smelling like sh*t. i found it more heartbreaking than funny, because people really can really let themselves go when dealing with loss.

it was also very, very smart to pick Butler. he has enough onscreen charm to make us mere mortals really feel Holly's profound loss. you'll act like a loony too if you lost someone as sexy as Butler in full romantic mode. and who better to help a woman try to get over it than morgan, who, in Grey's Anatomy managed to exude butler-wattage appeal without leaving his hospital bed. Connick is entertaining too with his deadpan and inappropriate quips.

the last important "cast member" is the irish scenery. i went through an ireland-is-the-coolest phase in my late teens, and i remembered why i thought it was a dreamy place.

If you are a typical dude (wait a minute...who isn't?), you will absolutely hate hate hate this movie. it will just show guys how human they are, especially when compared to the three male stars in it--a super tough task even for our sweetest, most adorable boyfriends. so skip it and just let the girls swoon in peace over butler and morgan.

don't worry, boys. i had to eat some humble pie, too. P.S. I Love You is sappy and a bit manipulative, yet even that's enough to remind me that, even for all my bluster, i am just a girl.